


Excerpts of Life and Other Nonsense

by unatonable



Category: Original Work
Genre: SO, from a little boy climbing a mountain to a second person pov murderer, here is just where i spew my short stories, if anyone reads this, thank you so much!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-14 00:46:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 2,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14124486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unatonable/pseuds/unatonable
Summary: This is where I have my short excerpts of writing. Just in case somehow my notes get deleted.





	1. January 22nd, 2018

**Author's Note:**

> Most of these short writes have the date written with the piece. They aren’t going to be in order, as I find them and write new ones I’ll add them in here.

It was as if the world stood still. A sudden inhale was breathed, and a shaky exhale was let out.

It was something that I saw, something I’ve seen in a fleeting dream. It wasn’t a person. It was a flower. A pair of flowers.

One stood brightly, strong and vivid, bewitching anyone who looked at it. The flower next to it, was quite the opposite. It was slumped, its color fading away. It didn’t stand strong, but instead it was fragile and on its last limbs. As I looked at these flowers, I realized that the reason why it had affected me so much was that it was a representation of myself. That slumped flower, that was me. Someone fragile, on its last limbs.

But as I saw this wilted flower next to its counterpart, I had a thought. This small flower, one so delicate and shaken, can turn into a vivid flower and can leave someone in awe. I strived to be this flower. I crouched down and took a picture, and continued walking down a path, perhaps a path to a now hopeful dream.


	2. February 19th, 2018

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a bit heavy, you have been warned.
> 
> Also, I’m not really proofediting any of this. I am sorry.

The next thing I know, I'm crying. I'm shaking. The day had been normal, good even. But then suddenly I'm hit with emotions. Emotions that I don't even know of, ones that I've never come to terms with. Is it all the stress building up? Has it decided to suddenly makes its appearance and say "fuck you!" to the rest of my day? I clench my hands. I try counting, but nothing's working. I feel like I'm being swept in a tornado, my emotions going in spirals and causing everything around me to turn into chaos. As I try to calm down, I find myself sitting on the ground. I feel exhausted, and light headed. I wipe my eyes and slowly get up, and try to go back home. I manage to reach it, and the moment I do, I slump down on my bed and fall into a deep sleep.


	3. October 18th, 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was for a quote for a character of mine. Basically about war and fighting.

Remember that there will be days where victory is swift, and others where victory is not. You must learn when to strike, when to act. You must learn the limits and know when to retreat, even if you believe you can keep on fighting. A war cannot be fought alone. Be mindful of your comrades, and be aware of the circumstances. You can only see the true calamity of war when the adrenaline begins to wear off, and you hear the shrill screams of agony and anguish in your men.


	4. December 17th, 2017 (1:12am)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this simply a few days before 2018 started and the irony in it now hurts.

What is faith?  
Well, there’s many different types of faith...  
In people.  
In the world.  
In beliefs.  
And in yourself.  
Faith is something that can keep people going.  
On the other hand, it’s also something that can crumble and disappear.  
I wonder what type of “faith” people will have in 2018.  
Will it be more focused to “faith” in the government?  
“Faith” in humanity?  
I’m mighty curious for what 2018 will bring.


	5. September 11th, 2017

I experienced happiness today.  
It came in a person.  
Usually, I see happiness from other people. From other things. Be it pictures, nature, smells, but never really a person.  
He was shy, stuttered a bit, but had the softest smile I've ever seen in my life. He asked me if I wanted to go hang out sometime. We went into a small cafe, filled with laughter and chatter. We blended into the crowd, and that was the first time I had genuinely enjoyed a day with someone.


	6. September 18th, 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> low-case letters were meant for this.

mom i saw a girl today.  
i don't know her name, but she has already left her mark in my heart.  
do you think i'll ever see her again, mom?

 

mom, i saw her again. i'm afraid to ask her name. she reminds me of you, and the thing that scares me is that she will also leave like you did.

 

mom, she knows my name. i stuttered only a little bit, and i asked for her name. she told me she doesn't like her real name, so she told me a nickname. lil, she told me. it's a strange nickname, but it's what i'll call her. we walked around and chatted, saying goodbyes and exchanging numbers. is it alright to depend on someone again, mom? if only you were here to tell me.


	7. September 21st, 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angry school-related time

I don't want to do this, and I don't believe anyone would want to do this shit.  
What's the post in learning this when it's not beneficial to my desired career?  
All these stress for a simply A? Or B? Or just a passing C?  
I'm sick of the shit we get taught and it not being helpful later in our lives.


	8. September 27th, 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it seems like september was a rough time in my life.
> 
> oh my poor, poor birth month.

america's flag used to be red, white and blue, perhaps red being courage, white being pure, and blue being solid, but now all I see is red, red with blood, white with pain, and blue with tears.


	9. February 19th, 2018 (4:43pm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey, more rough emotions!

i feel like people don’t understand how much i think about shit  
and especially after i say things that might cause awkward moments or strange moments.  
it blows off but when i go home and think about what happened, it eats at me  
was i too much? did i seem too overbearing as I talk about my worries? i rarely talk about them to people, and when i do, i worry about how they felt about me talking about those said worries. i wished I wasn’t a worrier. i wish i knew what i want at times, not the “i don’t know,” i give almost every time. do i just not have a preference? do i simply not care that much? how do you know exactly what you want in only a matter of seconds? it’s all so confusing.


	10. August 10th, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh boy, I’m breaking out the journal.

If I had to describe you as one thing on the universe, it would be the sun. You shine so brightly in my life, but I can only look at you for so long before I have to shield my eyes. If I don’t have protection, you would leave marks on my skin that will never go away. If I tried to be closer to you, you would burn me alive.

But what’s love if you don’t get hurt at some point?


	11. August 15th, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst time

I’m sorry I smile at the wrong times. When you tell me something serious, I smile. Do you not realize how hard I try to fight it? Do you understand how much I don’t want to smile? I just want to listen to you, but it seems as if my brain is wired in such a way to where it makes it seem as if I am laughing at you. It’s a part of what I dislike about myself, and I haven’t found a way to stop it. I’m sorry.


	12. August 15th, 2016 (continued)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst time part two! i have no idea what sophomore me went through.

Why do our inner demons exist? How do we learn to hate ourself so much? You’re not really taught that as a kid, but somehow it just manifests until it becomes a constant thing. At some point in our lives, it may seem normal to lose yourself in the monstrosity that is yourself.


	13. March 30th, 2018 (12:46am)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i literally opened this and was like “hey I don’t know how this is going to turn out, but’s let’s do it!”
> 
> Originally I was going to do like a ghost or something superstitious but then it followed this path.

You hear a loud bang as something falls to the floor. You flinch and spring up, wondering what just happened. While rubbing your eyes, you get out of bed and put some slippers on to go and investigate. You’re not wearing your glasses right now, so your sight is completely blurry, and the darkness doesn’t help either. As you continue to search for where exactly the loud noise happened, you begin to feel a bit colder. It’s strange, because it was a perfectly fine temperature when you got out of your room. Now in the living room where it is dimly lit, you see exactly what fell. You see dirt scattered everywhere and pieces of a clay pot, and a sad plant between the pieces of clay. You sigh exaustedly.

“Are you fucking serious. I literally just bought that plant.”

After contemplating what you were going to do in this situation, you thought that fuck it, it can wait until the morning. You don’t know what time it is, but you do know that it’s probably early in the morning and that you have work tomorrow, and that if you don’t get your ass back in bed you’re fucked. You lazily walk back to your bed, throwing your slippers off and crawling back into your sheets.

Perhaps if you had your glasses on, you would have seen the faint footprint that was in the soil. Maybe you could have seen that the your window had been ajar.

Perhaps you would have been able to stop your murder.


	14. July 2nd, 2018 (1:32am)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> at 1am, i got the thought “a little boy climbs a mountain!” and just ran with it. enjoy

there was once a little boy who wanted to climb a mountain. why? he just wanted to. why a mountain? well, why not? he never planned to climb a mountain, but now there he was, strongly heading towards his goal. (if his parents noticed, it was actually just a really big dump of dirt that a cat had left.) nevertheless, this little boy was going to do what he wanted to do. climb that damn mountain. he put on his big boy face, and began to slowly climb up it. much to the dismay of his parents, seeing their child scream “dads, I climbed the mountain!!” while being covered head to toe in dirt, they couldn’t help but smile and look at their child with fondness. the little recounted his story to his dads, with things such as “i slipped a little bit though, but i kept on going!” and the little bit of “it also get into my eyes, but i just had to blind really hard and it went away,” it seemed as if their son was extremely proud of himself. one father ruffled the little boy’s hair, shaking some dirt out along with the ruffle. the other scooped him up, kissed his face, and the family began to walk back inside the house. the first dad already started to run a bath, which quietly caught the attention of their small chihuahua. as the whole family came to the bathroom, (dog included,) they began to wash him up. while doing so, both fathers began to praise their sons for accomplish such an amazing feat. while one told him to perhaps make sure one of them was watching, they made sure to note that they were very proud of him. later on in the little boy’s life, this would be a very cherished memory for the whole family. for now, it was one that had been a very good self-discovering experience for the little boy.


	15. July 17nd, 2018 (11:28pm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my friend got a bf and she said they laid at this place he took her so i wrote something but i made it sad sorry

As we laid on the grass, it took me back to when I would laid alone. The days where I would run out of my house, looking for an escapement from the loud noises that plagued my life. The days where I would scream and cry out, looking for some saviour in the sky above me. I remember falling to my knees, blaming whatever force that was up there for not doing anything to save me from the life that I lived in. As I looked up, clutching his hand tight in mine, I see the stars for the first time, the way they are supposed to be seen. I feel their comfort for once, instead of their distance. I feel safe, something that I haven’t felt in a while. Perhaps he was my saviour. Perhaps this was a star that was being given to me right now. I look at the hand that is entwined with mine. I hold it up to the stars, and smile, a tear running down my face. No words were said at that moment, but I felt him turn his body. A pair of lips gently touched the tear that had fallen down my cheek, and I feel him caressing my hair with one hand. I slowly unclasp our hands, and simply curled myself into him. One hand snaked its way onto his waist, and one hand in his hair. We let the night deepen, both of us simply taking in the gentleness of the wind and the brightly lit sky above us.


	16. August 2nd, 2018 (4:43am)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some little sentences taking a form

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this just  
> came upon me??   
> i don’t even know, it’s almost 5am and i’m perfectly fine and this comes out

You know, when I die, I want it to be quick. When I’m old, I want it to be peaceful. If it’s surprising, I just want it to happen in a second so I can’t think about it and lay in agony. Death doesn’t really scare me, but it’s more of the thought of being left alone. Alone in my own mind. But then also, I hope if something comes to happen, that it’s not fatal. That I will lay in agony in order to return to the world. The hope that I can see my family again, my friends again, would probably make me feel determined to keep on pushing. So, I find that really strange. There’s a side of me that says “if death will come, please make it swift” and the other side of me that is like “no, don’t die yet, you fucking idiot. you’ve got plenty to live for still and haven’t said goodbye.”


	17. September 17th, 2018 (9:06am)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> at the library thinking about the weekend and throwing some shit in

you stare at me with wide and knowing eyes, expecting an answer.

the only thing your “knowing eyes” seem to not catch is the way i shift my gaze when you continuously question my unresponsiveness.

but you with those all knowing eyes, shouldn’t you know the answer by now?

you know i cannot answer to you, and how you’ve always gotten the same response from me before.

silence.

how harsh it is when one believes another has done something cruel when they have not, and expect the accused to be able to magically respond.


	18. September 24th, 2017 (8:52pm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> books

a dog barked as he flipped through the pages of an old novel. the musky scent of the worn pieces of paper, visually aged with time and time alone. reading, seemed to be the only thing that would make his anxiety wither away. just a quiet place with a good old book, where his mind could roam in the grand worlds of others and not the real one for once.


	19. September 27th, 2018 (7:21pm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> on the way back from tennis
> 
> inspired by my chill playlist

snuggled in my warm jacket,  
i wait until our journey stops.  
i look out, seeing the gleaming lights go by in a flash.  
in this darkness, canceling all noise out with what i adore the most,  
i feel calm.


	20. October 23th, 2018 (5:22pm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> on the bus, on the way back

some songs are really suitable at the right times. it sometimes astounds me how fitting they adapt to how i feel, how im looking out the window, how i’m thinking. i think music is one of the most precious things that exists in today’s world. even if everything goes to shit to some point, music will always thrive. 

[started with kodaline’s all i want, ended with roo panes’s silver moon.]


	21. January 17th, 2019 (9:04pm)

step.

step.

step.

the looming shadow that steadily grows behind me whispers in my ear, telling me to stop.

but stop what, it does not say.


	22. February 4th, 2019 (8:56pm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s gonna be rough.

tomorrow’s another day.  
that other day will turn into another week.  
those other weeks will turn into a month.  
and soon it’ll be two months.

as this rain pummels down, so it seems to reflect my mother’s spirit.  
i’m scared for the future.


	23. March 14th, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> old 9th grade haiku called Withering Tree

  
As the tree withers,  
The leaves fall and the birds flee,  
Looking for warm winds.


	24. February 20th, 2019 (7:15pm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my mind! i haven’t written in a hot minute and i needed to

im scared .   
the future is coming near   
and in just some time i may be in fear   
i can only wait for it to be unveiled  
to see if i will cry in joy or to have failed   
and this is just the beginning of my thoughts   
for deep in them, lies more distraught  
i lay here avoiding what comes next   
to be or not be, but all i do is rest


	25. April 10th, 2019 (4:13pm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i was in the car and i wasn’t even listening to anything whisimical

a whimsical tune plays in the background of my mind. its a song that i’ve listen to countless times, and somehow i still don’t know the name. from the mellow piano, to the enchanting chimes, to the hidden strings. it’s a song not to be blared, but not one to be silenced either. it’s a song that simply should be there. in the background.


End file.
